Yet another Tuesday

Today, I wait for my turn
Pleading for this to end
Waiting and crying,
While you sit there smiling
It is your love that you lend

Your love that you give
While I wait on the side,
Wishing that I would receive,
Another glance, or even a trace
Of the feelings that you now give

These feelings of mine
As I sit here alone
Wishing for all this to end
I feel like an intruder
If I were to walk near to you

Why are these feelings
So loud and clear,
In a heart that wishes the best
For a love so old and true.
Why are things in such a mess?

One day down… thirteen years to go

Today was my baby’s first day at school. My hubby had the day off, so we all got ready and piled in the car with enough time to drive to school via Perth so that we weren’t late! My in-laws dropped in to take some pictures of our daughter in her uniform this morning, and my mother-in-law cried. I didn’t think that I would cry today, since I had shed so many tears last night while getting her tiny uniform ready, but I cried again. We helped her settle into the classroom, and then followed the class off to the assembly, where all of the reception children were led on stage and greeted with a handshake by the principal, she looked so cute, and little! And on the way back to the classroom, she cried, and so I cried.
I think that as parents, it is hard to sit there and watch our children grow up, learn things that we did not teach them, and make mistakes. But as the mother of a ‘just-five-year-old’, today I just wanted to stay with her and talk with her about all of the things that she did not understand, talk about the rules that she was expected to follow, explain why all of the girls were wearing the same uniform, and hold her hand while she listened and played. But I guess that just shows why children start school at the age that they do… so that by the time they are twenty-something, their mothers have hopefully learned to let go and let them live their lives the way that they want to. And, even though I have realised it, I still hope that it would have sunk in by the time our ‘baby’ reaches that stage. Anyway, until next time...

The day before tomorrow

Naturally, today is the day before tomorrow.

Some nights I sit here with the backs of envelopes from the bills and letters we’ve received during the day, and a pen that I have either owned since high-school, or accidentally picked up from someone else’s house, and I write down my plan for tomorrow.
What will tomorrow bring? Will it bring happiness, sadness, disappointment, frustration or will the events of the day bring a sense of contentment? There are some things in life that I am fairly confident will happen. Tomorrow, I will make breakfast for two as my husband goes off to work, I will be asked ‘Mummy, where are we going today?’, and I will feel the movements of our unborn child as it grows in size and strength, preparing itself for what lies ahead for its' tomorrow.
But, with all of this in mind, I am glad to know that our lives are in the hands of someone I know and trust… our God… who will be with us no matter what tomorrow brings. And they are my thoughts for today. Until next time…

Why do children have to grow up?

This week, I have been getting myself ready both physically and emotionally for my daughter’s first year at school. Now, at the age of five, she will inform you in these exact words, that she 'knows everything', and then she will proceed to ask you a question about something irrelevant to my mind, but obviously important in hers.
I have two girlfriends with whom I catch up with regularly, as our girls are all of the same age, and I asked them if the last five years have gone quickly or slowly for them. One friend replied that things had moved slowly for her as she stays at home being the best and most dedicated mother/ wife/ house-cleaner that I have ever met! My other friend said that things had moved fairly quickly for her, as she now has three beautiful children under the age of five and has numerous family and personal commitments that keep her occupied throughout each week. I thought about the question for a minute and I said to my friends, ‘I think that things have moved quickly for me, too’ and I guess that the piles of dishes that have laid in my kitchen sink for more than two days at a time, and the piles of paperwork that sat on my desk for over a year are testament to the fact that I have not had as much time as my housecleaning friend to keep up with the duties that a housewife has, but on the other hand, I do not feel like I have missed out on any part of my daughter’s first five years of life.
I have studied full – time over the last four years and as a mother, have still seen my ‘baby’ grow into a wonderful little girl whom I believe will be a blessing to her friends and classmates this year as she starts school. She has been a blessing to my husband and me, and all of our family. And now, I will go and spend some time with my 'baby', which I would still do even if there was something on TV! And so, until next time...

My diary

The other day I started a diary. I was hoping it would satisfy my urge for writing, but I thought that this blog would be slightly better as it is harder to destroy the evidence of my thoughts once they have been recorded here! I hope not to bore you, but selfishly just to give myself something to do while there is nothing on TV...
tonight the children sleep,
even the cats found something to do,
as I wait here at home,
waiting, just waiting for you.
The dishes are already done,
the floors can wait a day,
so I sit here with Computer
recording my thoughts for the day.
The photo I have included is of two of my three cats, Geoffrey and Jemima. These lovely creatures are reducing the number of flies that we seem to have attracted to our house. They aren't just a pretty face!
Well, until next time...

Nothing on TV

Welcome to my first blog. I trust this will be an exciting beginning to a wonderful relationship that I now share with my computer... since there is nothing on TV