The monster in me

Sometimes I wonder why things are the way they are, and when times are frustrating and painful, I wonder where the button is to pause life so that you can fix things. Today is the fifth day in a row that I have felt like dying… too many things to think about and too many decisions to make, and too many feelings of loneliness as I try to figure things out so that everyone is happy. Sometimes I wish that I could be selfish and say, ‘the floors and the dishes can wait today, I am going out’. But then I wonder who it is that makes me stay and do the dishes? It is me. No-one ever comes home and complains when there are a few dishes on the sink. It is just me. So, how do you beat the monster with such high expectations that lives inside you? And why is it so hard to please the one person who should understand? I should understand me, at least.
Until next time...